The Sound of Settling

NSO (New Student Orientation) is finally over. So many events, so much activity, it was hard to take in everything. Some notable events:

= Moving in and meeting my roommate(s). There's one that I share a bedroom with, but 3 total that I live with.

= Buying a bike.

= Saying goodbye.

= Hearing speeches from the president, the provost, the vice provost, and the dean of admissions.

= Fountain hopping.

= The Real World: Stanford (a theatrical performance about sex, drugs, and eating disorders at Stanford).

= Swingdancing.

= Getting covered in sweat from partying all night.

= Registering for classes, and signing up for 19 units (there is a 20 unit maximum. My RA says I have a death wish).

= Football game against San Jose State (we won!)

= Spending more than $500 on books for my classes.

= Getting to know the vibrant guys and gals who are my hallmates (3B!).

Even though I'm supposed to have already been "oriented," I still have no idea what to expect next. I don't know if I'm going to die as a result of my uber-techie schedule (required Introduction to the Humanities (Humans and Machines), Physics 45 (Light and Heat), Math 53 (Differential Equations), and CS 106X (Accelerated Programming Abstractions)).

I'm sorry I haven't posted as often as I would like (though you can't say I didn't warn you), but I hopefully will get some time to in the weeks and months ahead. For now though, I've got a hunger, twisting my stomach into knots.

Cheers

My first post as a college student!

I'm currently exhausted, as I was out until after midnight, which to me felt like 3:30 in the morning (as I'm not totally adjusted from Eastern time yet). Sadly, no pictures of my dorm, as I don't have a camera yet, but I'm telling you now it's really cramped. Sigh.

I wanted to post today to share some of the cheers that they taught us last night. Apparently, whenever the dorms get together, they attempt to "out-cheer" each other. Like spirit rallies. Our dorm, Roble (pronounced Ro-Blee) is apparently awesome since it has upperclassmen but also the experience of an all-frosh dorm. The cheers are pretty simple, but I think they haven't told us one yet involving some stepping moves.

1) The simplest (to the tune of Ole)

Roble, Roble, Roble, Roble,

Roble, Roble. (repeat until tired)

2) A little more variation (at a fast tempo)

Take off your pants! *clap clap clap clap*

Take off your pants! *clap clap clap clap*

Take off your pants! *clap clap clap clap*

For Roble-ey-ey!

Take off your pants! *clap clap clap clap*

Take off your pants! *clap clap clap clap*

Take off your pants! *clap clap clap clap*

For Roble-ey-ey! (slow it down)

I'm, too sexy for my pants,

Too sexy for my pants,

So sexy, yeah!

I'm, too sexy for my pants,

Too sexy for my pants,

So sexy, yeah!

Schwaaa. (with accompanying hand gesture)

3) The most complicated so far (to the tune of the 1, 2, 3, 4, more more more senior cheer)

R! You ready for us

O! We are the place to

B! Let's get down at

Roble-ey-ey-ey!

R! You ready for us

O! We are the place to

B! Let's get down at

Roble-ey-ey-ey!

Schwaaa. (with accompanying hand gesture)

That's all for now. I'm thinking of going back to sleep since nobody else is up yet.

In The Words of John Denver and Michelle Branch

All my bags are packed,

I'm ready to go,

I'm standin here outside your door,

I hate to wake you up to say goodbye.

But the dawn is breaking,

It's early morn,

The taxi's waitin,

He's blowing his horn,

Already I'm so lonesome,

I could die.

So kiss me and smile for me,

Tell me that you'll wait for me.

Hold me like you'll never let me go.

Cause I'm leavin,

On a jet plane,

Don't know when I'll be back again.

Oh babe,

I hate to go.

Of all the things I've believed in,

I just want to get it over with.

Tears form behind my eyes,

But I do not cry,

Counting the days that pass me by.

I've been searching deep down in my soul,

Words that I'm hearing,

Are starting to get old.

Feels like I'm starting,

All over again,

The last three years were just pretend.

And I said,

Goodbye to you.

Goodbye to everything I thought I knew.

You were the one I loved,

The one thing that I tried to hold on to.

Home Alone (Ready For Badassery)

Rather than working on a short story idea that I've had bottled up in my head, I decided to post. I figure that I ought to get lots of posting done now, because once I leave for college I highly highly doubt I'll be able to post as often as I do now, as evidenced by my other Class of '09 friends, who I would say post at most once a week, if that (with the exceptions of Viola and, a tip of the hat to you, Lisa. David, I say you should be posting more).

I'm really, really tired of waiting. Everyone else has started new, exciting, brilliant chapters of their lives, while I'm still here wrapping up the last one with page after page of mindless text, as if I'm being paid for my writings by the word, Edgar-Allen-Poe-style.

I've already been home for nearly a month, while most of my friends have gone (all but one). It started in the middle of August. The first was on the 14th. A few left, to CMU, to Washington University, to other places. I knew my orientation was over a month later, but it didn't occur to me how quickly the rest would go, too. I thought I still had a lot of time left. The William and Mary kids left a few days later. They up and left to Williamsburg, Virginia. Even then, still, it didn't sink in. The Cornellers left on the 20th. But the hardest hit came on the 22nd of August. It was after that point that I started to really feel alone. Nearly everyone I knew had said their goodbyes. My family took a trip to Chicago, leaving me by myself during the day. On average, I'd say I watched 8 hours of television a day during that week. (It was a dark time in my life.) Thankfully, there were still some people left to have fun with, not all of them TJ alumni. But with the start of school, my siblings, my friends, all but one had gone.

And now...I stand on the brink. The brink of the best four years of my life (or so I hope). I feel like I'm at a waterpark, about to go down an enormous water slide. I'm (nearly) last in line, and I've watched everyone else go in front of me, and come out the other end, exhilarated but otherwise okay. Yet...I'm nervous. My brain is telling me that everyone else has gone down the tube and is now the better for it. But my heart is still skipping beats every time I think about the fact that I'm officially leaving the nest. About the fact that I'm moving three thousand miles across the country, and almost everything (and everyone) I know is staying here, on the East Coast. About the fact that I'm boarding a plane with green hair and my life stuffed into my luggage. I'm done filling suitcases with clothes and supplies (and food). I'm counting down the days until my flight (two). I'm finally ready to kick some ass and take some names. And make some friends. And go to classes. And be a college student.

Love

I'm not even going to touch this one.

Laughter

Knock, knock.

Who's there?

A bad joke, that's who.

Hopefully, you didn't laugh at that. If you did, you have an unfortunate sense of humor.

But where does one acquire a sense of humor? From everything we know, it would appear that we are in fact born with the ability to laugh. And that's because laughter is a rather universal thing. Humans have thousands of languages, and hundreds of thousands of dialects, but everyone laughs in almost the same way. Babies can laugh before they are able to speak (even as early as 17 days old), and children that are born blind and deaf retain the ability to laugh. Even some animals can laugh.

There are some theories as to why laughing is so deeply ingrained in human behavior. A prominent one is the relief theory -- that laughter is a gesture of shared relief at the passing of danger. This theory can also be used to explain why people laugh at jokes: a tense situation is created, and the audience must deal with the buliding tension. At the right moment, comic relief is used, and the audience laughs, realizing that the "dangerous" situation is in fact a harmless one. Another theory is the incongruity theory. At the beginning, a mismatched scenario is presented. The audience attempts to connect the different parts of the story. Finally, when an unexpected punchline is revealed, the audience laughs, as they are having to deal with two sets of emotions and trains of thought.

And, a lot of what we know about jokes indicates that these theories might be correct. Jokes that have a nonsensical punchline aren't really funny. If a joke is obvious from the start, it's not very funny. The most laughs, the deep, belly laughs, come from punchlines that you aren't expecting in the slightest.

So where does our laughter come from? Although the frontal lobe controls most of the body's emotional responses, laughter came from all over the place. Both sides of the cortex, the frontal, and the occipital lobes were used in processing a joke. However, it does seem that the limbic system is central to our ability to laugh.

It's been long known that laughter has the miraculous ability to make us feel better (as demonstrated by a poorly-made Robin Williams movie), and deal with life's ubiquitous stressors, but did you know that it also helps in coping with major illness? It does this by strengthening our immune systems, boosting our T and B lymphocytes, and lowering those hormones which stress us out. Even better for our bodies is the fact that laughing 100 times is the equivalent of spending 15 minutes on an exercise bike, working the abdominal, respiratory, leg, and back muscles.

Laughter can be quite cathartic, and allows us to release negative emotions like fear, anger, and sadness. Many people believe that another purpose of laughter is to make and strengthen human connnections. We're able to laugh in the presence of others when we're comfortable being around them, and when we laugh, it strengthens the bond we share with those people. Laughing with others creates a positive feedback loop of comraderie, and explains why laughter is usually contagious.

So find a comedy show or a stand-up comedian who makes you come close to peeing your pants with laughter, and watch it more often. Surround yourself with funny people, and be with them every chance you get. Perhaps even take a class on how to be a better joke-teller. Variety may be the spice of life, but laughter, quite frankly, is the frosting.

Life

Life is hard.

Life is unfair.

Life is what happens to you while you're busy making other plans.

Life is a highway.

Life is pleasant. (Death is peaceful. It's the transition that's troublesome.)

Life is not meant to be taken seriously.

Life is an onion: we take it one layer at a time, and sometimes it makes us weep.

Life is much easier if you have the source code.

Life is just one damned thing after another.

Life is "trying things to see if they work."

Life is a grindstone: it can both wear you down and make you sharp.

Life is something to do when you can't get to sleep.

Life is relationships; the rest is just details.

Life is the flower for which love is the honey.

Life is a sewer: what you get out of it depends on what you put into it.

Life is not a spectacle or a feast; it is a predicament.

Life is either a daring adventure or nothing.

Life is a train of moods like a string of beads; and as we pass through them they prove to be many colored lenses, which paint the world their own hue, and each shows us only what lies in its own focus.

Life is short.

Life is worth living.

Life is good.

Service Providers

What is the true cost of conversation? Of an instant message? Right now, I think service providers monopolize the options for cell phone plans, charging exorbitant rates for their services.

First, it's important to understand how companies like AT&T and Sprint work. In order to get their product to their customers, they buy sections of the wireless spectrum. Radio waves between 300 and 3000 megahertz are used for cell phone service, and so telephone companies purchase the right to use certain frequencies from the government (much in the same way as a radio station). So since they own the right to use the frequencies, they charge their customers whatever they want to use the frequencies for their cell phones.

The trouble is, what exactly are they charging for? And the answer is: data. That's all that sound is. Our words are converted into bits that are shot through the air (in ye olden days, they were shot through copper, then fiber-optic cables), to be picked up by your handset on the other end. Bits and bytes and words and nibbles. The strange thing though, is that we have a way of communicating via sound for no cost: Skype! This technology, of course, is VOIP (voice over IP), and is a tad different from the radio wave frequencies. Instead of transmitting the information via radio waves, it uses the internet (hooray for the internet!). As any frequent Skype user knows, the call quality isn't as pristine as cell carriers, but in my humble opinion, this is a small price to pay for free phone calls. So what does this mean for cell phones? It means that they are probably going to become obsolete if they continue to overprice their plans. One shouldn't have to pay $50 or more to talk for a few hours during the day. Of course, if companies were to lower the price of their 3G wireless access, then I'm sure many people would switch to mobile Skype now(http://www.skype.com/mobile).

Well then, what about text messaging? Surely that's a worthwhile bargain? A few dollars for unlimited text messages? Unfortunately, it isn't a good deal. In fact, while the amount of text messaging has increased, the amount of calling has decreased (people must be starting to wise up). And yet, cell phone companies are making profits. Why? Because the charges for text messages are simply outrageous. Some charge $.20 per message, others $.10. But even at $.01 per message, they're still making a good deal of profit. How much does it cost to transfer less than 160 characters from one phone to another? Almost nothing. Its simply a tiny amount of data. It's just that getting rich from overpriced text messages is too hard to give up.

Except.

There is one service that lets you send free SMS messages. Google Voice (http://www.google.com/googlevoice/about.html). Now, I'm not exactly a die-hard supporter of Google. Like everyone else, I use their products, from Gmail, to Google Calendar, Blogger, and of course, their search engine. And like everyone else, every time they come out with a great new product my paranoia cranks up another notch. They know quite a lot about me (though that's a topic for another post). But they're offering free text messaging. Why? Because they understand how little it really costs. Sadly though, it's hard to get Google Voice on a cell phone (outside of an Android phone). And cell phone companies are going to fight tooth and nail to keep it that way. For example, Apple recently blocked a Google Voice app on the iPhone. But of course they did. AT&T wasn't about to let themselves lose millions of dollars each year, in the name of "open source". This move was controversial enough to even provoke a response from the FCC, though of course, it's highly unlikely that any lasting consequences will be doled out.

I don't know what the future of telecommunications holds. But if the right people can take control, we will see much cheaper cell phone plans in our future.

Fear

How often do most people feel fear? There are any number of possible sources of fear in our everyday lives. Every time you get in a car, there's a very real chance of being in a car crash (not necessarily a high percentage, but if someone drives a car for 50 years, they'll have a 1% chance of dying in a car crash). When you're older, the risk of crashing your own car decreases, but heart conditions, mental problems, and even cancer become more of a possibility. And those of us with active imaginations have it worse: every creak of a floorboard, or pitter patter of footsteps, or howling of the wind creates monsters, ghosts, and murderers from thin air.

It's interesting then how most people enjoy frightening themselves needlessly. Of course, as someone gets older they become increasingly hard to frighten. And some people are simply more easily scared than others. But that doesn't deter millions of people from going to see (usually bloody) horror movies, or reading Stephen King, or visit haunted houses on Halloween. While it is true that being afraid can also cause excitement, the very fact that our pumpkin-centric holiday is so popular is evidence that we celebrate being scared of witches, vampires, and things that go bump in the night (or we at least use them as an excuse to dress sluttily and throw parties).

Where does fear come from then? When we encounter a "scary" stimulus, a message is sent to the thalamus. A short-path signal is sent to the hypothamalus, setting off our fight-or-flight reaction. But a long-path signal goes also through the hippocampus, and by the time it also reaches the hypothalamus, our brains have decided whether or not the fight-or-flight response is justified. Some people react to the fight-or-flight response differently; there's the deer-in-the-headlights reaction, and there's the scream-bloody-murder reaction.

In that case, what makes a stimulus "scary"? Why do we fear? The simple answer: survival. Those animals which were afraid of the right things succeeded in reproducing. If we weren't afraid of forest fires, unstable bridges and oncoming traffic, many of us would be out of luck. Being afraid of things like lions and darkness is a result of our ancestors benefiting from that fear. And, when we are young, we learn to fear things that aren't intuitive, from conditioned responses like dog bites or burning ourselves.

So when was the last time you were truly afraid? Your breathing speeds up, your heart races, and your muscles tighten. You're rooted to the spot, your mind is running at a mile a minute, and all you can think of is how bleak your future is looking.