Regret

It starts in your stomach. You can't put your finger on it, but for some reason you're feeling uncertain. That feeling of uneasiness, you know, the one that comes about when you think there's one more step going down a flight of stairs than there actually is.

Then the feeling in your stomach materializes as a realization in your head. You know exactly why you're feeling off-balance. Doubts spring up everywhere, and the second guessing begins. Did you make a mistake? Should you have said that? Was something forgotten? And as you go in mental circles, your fears don't ease up -- in fact, they get worse. You're wracking your brain, trying to find some solace, some small detail that proves you did the right thing at the right time. But you can't. You can't convince yourself.

Instead, you know you'll have to live with the consequences of your decision, or your forgetfulness, or your mediocrity. If something terrible happens as a result of it, it will be your fault. Some will realize that the past is unchangeable, and move on, burdened with their mistake. Often times, the burden is small; occasionally though, you regret something so much that it changes the rest of your life. Others, who are not as accepting, will attempt to fix the past by altering the present. And yes, sometimes this works. You can run home to turn off a stove before it starts a fire. But you can't redo a decision that only comes around once in a lifetime. You can't put hurtful words back into your mouth before you uttered them. You can't repair the pieces of a broken heart.

So...

Think before acting. Look before leaping. Understand the consequences.

P.S. I couldn't get what I was after. But I don't regret it. Maybe next year.