What Does It Mean

When someone asks you to get coffee?

I came to the realization that this is one of the most romantically ambiguous social interactions ever. Let's discuss why:

Ladies, if a guy who is a friend (but not a great friend) asked you to Starbucks, would you automatically interpret it as "asking you out"?

From a guy's perspective (and, gentlemen, feel free to correct me if I'm wrong), but I might not always want to start a relationship with someone by asking them out. I've always thought it awkward to have to get to know someone through dates. I much prefer to get to know the person first, and decide whether or not I enjoy their company and their personality, before throwing myself into a possibly romantic situation, like going to dinner.

So, naturally, grabbing a latte provides a great center ground for this kind of interaction. You can go and enjoy caffeine with somebody and not have it mean anything. You would certainly go and have Starbucks with a new friend without it being awkward or non-platonic in the slightest. It's just two people hanging out. Something like a picnic, or a late night dinner, I think is different. Asking someone out to dinner is, of course, generally a sign of romantic interest. But coffee?

There's also the matter of picking up the check. If you go out to dinner and the guy insists on paying, then you can be pretty sure he is interested in you. However, if a guy insists on paying for your triple shot mocha, what does that mean? Sure, I would be inclined to believe that he is interested, but what if he's just a really nice guy? I mean, (most) coffee isn't terribly expensive. It's not the same as a movie ticket or an entire meal. Which means that on multiple levels getting coffee is romantically ambiguous.

So, the take away points here are that if you are going to ask someone on a date, and you want to make it very clear that it is a date, do NOT ask them to get coffee. Ask them to go have dinner, or better yet, prepare a picnic. If you're feeling really creative, you could try holding up a sign that says, "to me, you are perfect."

end scene.