Sometimes

Sometimes it's good to be reckless.

Sometimes, I like doing things without worrying about whatever's going to come after. This doesn't happen often, mind you, because I'm not good at ignoring the consequences. If I am anything, I am a worrier. I worry about oversleeping; I worry about keeping up with the pace of my schoolwork; I worry about what my peers and my teachers think of me; I worry about whether or not the weather is going to get worse; I worry about my future.

But sometimes...

Sometimes I stop worrying. Sometimes I do things without giving a damn about the consequences of my actions. I do things because I want to and I think I'm entitled to and I know that it feels good as hell to do something that I want.

And, depending on the mood I was in when I stopped thinking about what comes next, the snap back to reality might be good or bad.

• If I was angry or frustrated, and I did something stupid, odds are I regret whatever it was that I did. Granted, I don't get angry enough to do this often (you have to really piss me off), but when it does, I can't help but feel like a jackass.
• If I was in one of those "oh, fuck it" moments, generally I don't regret whatever it was I did (assuming nobody got hurt). There are times when I think I'm being way too antisocial or thinking way too much and I just wear a stupid grin and throw myself into the wind.
• If I did it for/because of a pretty girl, it changes. Sometimes, I feel elated over what I did, and I can't stop smiling and attempting to make mental notes for the future. Other times, I feel like an absolute idiot, and I keep asking myself why I didn't just sit still and bear it. And, occasionally, I'm simply filled with chagrin and laugh at myself for my own silliness.

Sometimes it's better to look before we leap, to stop and think. But only sometimes.